NEWFIE JOKES

Subject: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:44 pm

POST ALL THE NEWFIE JOKES YOU KNOw HERE :lol!:

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:45 pm

i dont know any...do u??

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:47 pm

You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....

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1.You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be witt ya by*'."

2. Your Jedi robe is made of seal skin.

3. You have ever used your light saber to quarter a moose.

4. Both wings of your X-Wing are done over with sheet metal
and rivets and are covered with polybond.

5. You have ever eaten bottled Ewok.

6. You have ever used a land-speeder to get away from wildlife officers.

7. The best part of spending time on Dagobah is the great weather.

8. Even C3-PO cannot understand what you are saying.

9. You have used Jedi mind tricks to help you drag off someone from
the Sundance (Bar on George Street) and Breezway (University Bar).

10. You have ever used the force to convince a Human Resources
Canada officer to give you unemployment insurance checks.

11. Your father has ever said to you, "Come on by' son, come on
over 'ere to the dark side and have a Black Horse (Newfoundland brewed beer) witt yer old man."

12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to scare off mosquitoes on May 24 weekend.

13. You have ever used the Millennium Falcon to smuggle booze and
cigarettes from St. Pierre (Island belonging to France just of southern nf coast).

14. You have a Newfoundland dog painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

15. You think Andy Wells (St. John's mayor) and Brian Tobin (nf premier) are part of the dark side of the force.

16. You have ever fantasized about Danielle House wearing her hair like
Princess Leia.+

17. You have a trailer hitch on the back of your land speeder for hauling your
trailer to gravel pits.

18. Chewbacca is the lead of your dog sled team.

19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with snowmobile skis.

20. You were the only person drinking Newfie Screech during the cantina scene.

21. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... tell me what the hell your mother's
getting on with by'?!"

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:52 pm

:lol!: You know your from Newfoundland when....

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- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.

- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

- The mosquitoes have landing lights.

- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

- You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled moose.

- Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at
Christmas.

- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter
above the ground.

- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in
with snow.

- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with
only 8 buttons.

- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4
page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.

- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing
plant.

- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

- You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.

- You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't
prowl on your deck.

- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

- You find -40C a little nippy.

- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.

- You can play road hockey on skates.

- You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and
Construction.

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:56 pm

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere
in life and thought they should go to college to get
ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells
him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you
an example. Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,"
replied the professor.

"That's real good!" says the redneck.

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since
you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck says, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a
wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

The redneck is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume
that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin'
thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks
back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" replies the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?"
asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"SO YOU LIKE GUYS, Don t Ya ?"
:lol!:

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:00 pm

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF ....

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:47 pm

lol....dats very funny

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:30 pm

Lol..I saw some of them before..their cool Tounge

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Mon Apr 30, 2007 5:33 pm

lol...der way to long tho Tounge

Subject: Re: NEWFIE JOKES Tue May 01, 2007 11:47 am

lol, this was a Newfie jokes topic and then it changed into a Redneck one so now its different. Unless your calling us and yourself a Redneck Matt Surprised